Dear Sean "Puffy/Diddy" Combs

Dear Diddy,
Dog, you know we've been boys since 1994. Thats 14 years of nonhomo fresh fly brotherhood. Why you gon go fuck it up dog?? Im tired of getting on the blogsites and see your hands all up on my girl dog. You know Cassie's my bitch. Nigga, ever since you caught us fucking in her trailer during "Me & U" video 2 years ago, youve been acting funny. I thought it was fucked up when you took all my tracks off "Press Play" (great album dog), but it was cool cuz I wrote ya verses on "Forever" and "Saga Continues". I mean you left Rick Ross and The Game's verses they wrote, and them niggas suck. But they was hot in the streets and I couldnt fault you. But you know Cassie had to push her album back cuz she got pregnant with Nasir Rakim Guesby, my son. I mean when you and Kim broke up, did I run up in yo shit? When Audrey was steppin out on you with Suge Knight, what did I do? What did I do for nigga? I ran up in Suge Knights shit, and beat up his bitch and let him get arrested for it (you know how smooth I am on them DV charges). Diddy think bout it dog, all them trips to St. Tropez, when we was fingercuffing french models. When we was down in Miami up in O poppin cristal and Rose'? What happened to that dog?? When we sent them making the band bitches out to New Jersey for Jamaican Beef Patties and McRibs?? Shit nigga, who for the last five years been taking ya kids to school on the first day??? ME NIGGA!!! And you stealin lines from my songs for cologne names. "I AM KING" yeah nigga, I want my check, cuz Im always king this, king that. All the things Ive done for you dog, I testified against Shyne for you dog, just so and J Lo can be free. Speaking of which, I know this is gon hurt you dog, but when you was in the studio with G Dep, Jenny called me over. She had been drinking, and was talking all sad, cuz she said she saw you getting head from one of the Dream bitches. So you know we was making out and shit, and next thing I know, she pushes me down and puts that V on my mouth, and I did what I had to do dog. We still boys though. But she wasnt your babys mom or anything, Cassie is my babys mom. So Sean, homie, back up off my bitch dog, I dont wanna Biggie you dog.