R.I.P. Sylvia "Granny" Guesby

So yesterday I celebrated my 21st birthday, only to get a call mid afternoon that my beloved Grandma died. And I got the call at Cd Tradepost, and in mid-sale, I fall to my knees and cry. I fucking Grandma is dead. I cant focus, I cant deal. But yet, I went to the back, manned up and finished the day. Went home, copped a bottle of EnJ X.O. (Ive heard of its existance, but never had it, so I copped it. Stronger than my usual VSOP aka The Blue Cap, but way smoother. Which led to me getting drunker faster because the usual "let me put this down" feeling I get from a shot of the blue cap wasnt there since the x.o. went down way easier). So I get drunk, pass out, wake up at 8:30, and by 9:05 I was back at CD Tradepost.

I tried to resist calling my dad. I mean what do you say to your dad when his mom dies? I mean thats my grandma, she raised ya boy during the FL years (1996-2001) but she raised him for 18 years. His connection to her isnt like mine to her. I really was at a lost for words. But he called me first.

:Phone Rings:
Mike "Yoooo"
Dad "Do you wanna talk about it?"
Mike "Talk about what?" (as if I didnt know)
Dad "Grandma"
Mike "No, not really, nah"
Dad "Ok, did you get my card?"
Mike "Yeah about that, that gift card only had 14 bucks on it"
Dad "I paid for 25"
Mike "Yeah I know, but there was monthly charge of 4 bucks since you bout it in september and today is now october, and when I bought that T.I. cd, the cd was 10 but the card took up a 3 dollar spending fee"
Dad ::laughs:: "Fuck, Id have been better off just giving you the money"
Mike "Or buying me ProTools like we agreed"
Dad "I got a feeling if I get you that ProTools you wont use it, like that bike I bought you"
Mike "Dad, that was in fucking 9th grade, and 3 months later I bought that car, the fuck Ima ride a bike for?"
Dad "Im just saying, you and your sister got a thing for asking for shit and not using it, like that GameCube I bought her"
Mike "Dad, ProTools is the industry standard, Ill use it for recording, and you know Im always recording. Plus, I can charge bullshit ass wannabe rappers 40 bucks an hour to record their shitty music"
Dad "Do I get a piece of that ?"
Mike "Who the are you Tony Soprano, fuck outta here (in Mobster voice)"
Dad ::laughs:: "Alright, we'll talk on that later, go to your moms"
Mike "I was already there, shes fucking up again, and I cant understand the fuck shes saying"
Dad "Hmm, well Ill call her, Ill call you later with the details"
Mike "For sho"
Dad "Later"
Mike "Laaaaate"
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And yes, thats how I really talk to my dad, in fact thats how I talk to everyone

Me n my dad basically spoke as if this were last week and my grandma was still around. And it kills me, I havent seen my grandma since my high school graduation. Which was 2 and a half years ago. And before that? I saw her 2 years after we left FL. So all in all, I saw my grandparents, twice in the last 6 years Ive fucking lived in Wichita. And now, Ill never see my grandma again, ever. And it hurts way more than anything. I mean I know my friends lose family members they see everyday, and it sucks. But to lose someone close that you havent seen in years is devastating to say the least.

On top of that, I have to work. Why? Cuz you dont work you dont eat. Sure I got a stack saved away for a rainy day. And this is day thats not good, but I cant miss work. I need to find a new apt. I got legal fees to pay. Major shit.

I loved my grandma, she was my fucking 6th grade math teacher, and it sucked bad. Then in 7th grade, Im chillin and shit. Doing work on some street football. She comes through in the 99 green caravan and told me my mom n my sis (T Gues!!) to pack a weeks worth of clothes. So we did. And for what?! To go to fucking disney world. Now that may sound cool. But nigga I was 13, the fuck I wanted with a Disney World?! Plus we only went to Epcot and Magic Kingdom, only the gayest parts of Disney World. But it was a week vacation from the ghetto, so I was down.

Dont get it twisted. Dont let my stories of Busch Gardens, Disney World, and Florida Keys trips fool you. My family was fucking poor, and we lived in the ghetto. My grandparents would swoop in from time to time to show us the better side, but once that was over, back to the ghetto we go.

Plus, I got yelled at the whole trip because of the contents of my backpack: Source Magazine, XXL Magazine, Vibe Magazine (pretty much the shit I have now), my rhymebook, my cd player, WW(E)F Magazine, and my Triple H and Undertake Figures. Which cds? Fuck. This was 99-00? So prolly Lights Out, 400 Degreez, and Hard Knock Life. (I say it all the time, it wasnt til 01 that I become the hiphop head I am today. I mean Ive been down with hip hop since I was 5, its just that I was usually rocking whatever MTV, BET, and that nigga 3 grades higher than I told me was hot).

She found my rhymebook, and beat me with her shoe. And my grandma wasnt your typical hood grandma. Nigga you ever been hit with a Gucci flat? That shit is insulting on so many levels. Yes, my grandma loved to shop, and she fucking had a masters in education and shit. So, she could afford to pop tags. She also loved Doral cigerettes and Bingo. Fuck I remeber when I was 11 and was having a terrible asthma attack. Her and my mom drive to the hospital, smoking the whole way there. It was terrible.

But my grandma loved me and T Gues, no doubt. At times she was selfish, but she was an only child, and worked hard to get her what she wanted, so fuck whoever had a problem. But she'd always show major love on them bdays and Christmas. Take us out to Macy's to get our gear right for Easter. Always let you supersize at McDonalds, though she knew you wouldnt eat nowhere near all of it. She even let me eat cookies and shit for breakfast, but then bring out said shoe. She'll tell you No only one time, if you go against that, you got the shoe. Or tv remote. Or a math book. I FUCKING MATH BOOK NIGGA!!!

So, sunday Ill be flying down to FL for the Funeral, and seeing my Gramps. Since Im 21, and my gramps is an alkie (albeit, a retired responsible alkie) we'll prolly be getting drunk together, crying and shit.

Thing is, my dad is moving my gramps up from Florida to live with him and my mom. And my dad and my Aunt Gina (his sister) dont wanna sell the house. They want someone from the family to live there. And T Gues is in college. So they want me to take the house. Im considering it. Ive missed FL so much for the the longest, you dont even know. But I'd have to start from scratch. And more than likely leave Illprint behind. ITs a 3 bedroom house, but I doubt anyone wants to move away from they family. Ill be there by myself. Maybe link up with some local rap group there I know.

Anyways, back to slangin all access cards, and paying people for their shit.

Late